Review: Abraham Lincoln: Presidential Fuck Machine

Here's a review of one of the most ridiculous books I've ever read

Previously on this blog I have reviewed some amazing development books, when not reviewing development based stuff I have reviewed books like Work by Thich Nhat Hanh. Today I am reviewing something slightly different.

Abraham Lincoln: Presidential Fuck Machine sheds Abraham Lincoln in a slightly different light from what I had learned in school.

Starting on 22nd April 1863 the book documents various liaisons the great American president had with folk.

We find out quite early on why people refer to him as “Baberaham Lincoln”.

Before you immediately start mocking this book; It seems historically sound – in doing some research into why Japan is mentioned I found out that during the timeframe of the book there was a series of conflicts going on between Japan and a joint force including America.

What I didn’t know and what wasn't mentioned in that WikiPedia article was  that Japan were trying to construct a doomsday device to blow up the moon (don’t worry, Abe finds a way to stop this from happening).

Another fact I gleaned from the book is that Lincoln had a seven-pointed star birthmark on his upper thigh!

In fact, this book is full of facts, did you know Abraham Lincoln enjoyed the company of men on occasion?;

“I have loved men over the years, as I have loved women. Sometimes, I will find myself staring at a young soldier’s muscular thighs, imagining how it would feel to part his legs and thrust my prick between his buttocks.”

You will be happy to know Abe’s religious stoicism never wavers, when viewing his penis one person exclaims “Truly, you have been blessed by the gods”, Abe was quick to correct them that there is only one god.

Amazingly I couldn’t verify this elsewhere, but it turns out that once Abraham Lincoln ejaculated so hard it seared a hole through a wall and burned across the sky.

Later in the book we find out why people refer to him as “Gaybraham Lincoln”.

He was a very caring president;

“Once I was satisfied that I would not kill the poor ninja with the force of my sperm”

I won't spoil the ending, but I will say this – The Moon is still here!

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